Let’s face it… pregnancy can be hard. Let alone in a pandemic. All types of emotions are already fragile and fired up with hormones. Top it off with comments from others like, “Is this really the best time to have a baby?” Followed by my favorite comment I’ve received so far, “You and your husband didn’t stay six feet apart, did you?”
With the hormones and comments combined, my pregnancy is proving to be a real memorable one…that’s for sure. Plus, this is not my first rodeo as we await the arrival of baby number three, which means I have two other kiddos to keep safe as well!
Getting pregnant can be hard enough and prove to be a challenge in a pre-pandemic scenario. Then when you add in additional stressors, you can become a volcano ready to emotionally erupt!
Facing pregnancy and trying to conceive during a time of panic can be intense and intimidating at times. Everyone has an opinion about what should be done (especially now!) which makes an already stressful situation more worrisome.
If you are reading this and fall into either of the two categories mentioned above (pregnant or trying to conceive) then I have a little story. A story to show that there is light in this tunnel we are traveling in.
One year after I had my second daughter, Gemma, I heard the words I was not expecting from my doctor. “The chances of having another child are going to be difficult this time if you want to try for another baby.” Extreme hormone issues coupled with some physical issues left me wondering about the future of my family.
I left the doctor’s office that day with internal questions swirling my mind. Are my husband and I really done having kids? What will our future hold for us? Do I throw in the towel and give up? God gave us two healthy and beautiful girls, so why am I extremely sad about this? When my mind faced question after question, clarity from Jeremiah finally rooted my soul.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).
Several months after that appointment with my doctor, all before Covid-19, I had an early miscarriage. Months following my loss, I received negative after negative pregnancy tests. Then early in May, I received that big beautiful positive pregnancy test. Excitement erupted and then…an instant wave of fear: What happens if I get sick? Will my baby be ok?
God gently reminded me that his timing is perfect! “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). This passage in scripture shows his perfect timing.
I use these words, “everything has a time” as a constant reminder that God is with me during my pregnancy. With all of us in this pandemic, whether pregnant or not, no matter what we are facing as moms, staying in the moment and knowing that time also passes quickly helps us stay present.
Staying present is hard when everything looks different in this world than it once did. Experiences look much different this time around compared to my past pregnancies.
Doctors appointments are a night-and-day difference. So much has changed that I feel like I stepped into an alternate universe! Not seeing my doctor’s facial expressions is weird to me. I have been going to the same doctor for nearly five years, and now it feels sterile and strange with masks blocking friendly conversations.
It also saddens my heart that my husband can’t go to my doctor appointments. He can’t be at my 20 week ultrasound to hold my hand and listen to our baby’s heartbeat like he once could. My love language is physical touch, so not having him physically at my appointments this pregnancy has been challenging.
And yet, while there are things I miss from previous pregnancy experiences, I am trying to have a positive mindset of staying present. Here are some things I noticed that fill up my glass to be more than half full instead of half empty:
- I didn’t have to hide a growing baby bump in the first trimester from co-workers when working from home during quarantine. Zoom calls from shoulder up were amazing!
- Not having to explain frequent trips to the bathroom during work is the best! Being at the comfort of my own home without prying eyes is wonderful, especially on days I’m not feeling 100%.
- Food and drink explanations are non-existent because big gatherings or eating at restaurants with a big group of people is not really the norm anymore.
- I can be much more selective with who I see during my pregnancy and afterward when my baby arrives. I’m finding that people are more understanding and not as offended when setting boundaries these days.
- I like the fact that just my husband and I can be in the hospital during delivery and after. I think this will allow more bonding time with my baby when less visitors are coming in and out during an important recovery time.
The above points are proving to show that I like my space. I think my only-child upbringing is coming out more and more. It has been nice having more space to grow, literally and figuratively. This time has allowed more bonding with my little one that is growing inside me. We are in this together and God has demonstrated time after time how light can shine where it is least expected.
I hope you feel his light shining through during your journey too! ❤️
Danielle Van Peursem lives near Lake Minnetonka with her husband Tyler, two little girls, and 90 pound labrador retriever. Danielle works as a Marketing Manager for a local non-profit, Hope Chest for Breast Cancer Foundation, and loves helping her community. With balancing the working mom life, she enjoys all the snuggles from her girls, boating with her family, and appreciates croissants and endless chai tea! You can connect with her on Instagram @daniraelene.